Chapter 7

KILBURN

after living with my grandma for about 7 or 8 months and mum having her baby just 6 weeks ago mum finnaly gets a goverment assited house….we were only moving a 10 minute drive away from my grandma ..

. all of mums stuff was packed onto a trailor..it was a very exciting time …there was peole helping to pack including mums new boyfrind les mum has a voltswagon that she drove ..my 6 week old baby brother timmy and my little sister aged about 4 sat in the abck seat ..while i sat in the front on my uncles lap …..you could do that abck in the 70;s not even having to wear seatbelts either …we say our goodbyes to my grandma and drive off

…as we drove by i looked at all the new things that were around us ..yet again there was another big bridge ….how i hoped to god i didnt have to walk over this one being twice the hight of the one at my grandmas to get to my new school …..we turned the corner just after the bridge ond kept driving …..then alll of a sudden my uncles calls out ….oh there it it you missed the turn ………. there was a large carpark to one side of the road .. and a train station loading dock the other side .our turn off was next to the car park but my mum missed it….mum has put on the brakes of the car looked for traffic comming and desided to do a quik uturn in the middle of the road …my uncle held me tight as we go around …..the force not being fast at all but it made me and my uncle lean on the car door ….which we didnt realise mustnt of beed shut properly …..as mum turns the car the door flings open my uncles grabs hold of my little 6 yr old body even tighter as we fall out the car onto the footpath and he rolls ontop of me 2 or 3 times as we tumble out the car …….my uncle quikly grabs me ..stands me up ..to check that im ok ..he had blood comming from a fat lip but im ok not a scrath on me .except a sore little finger which i didnt bother to tell anyone about …..we had a small giggle and hop back into the car and drive to our new house ..where people were already there waiting for us …as we get out the car everyone was asking ..why did we take so long ….i rememebrs telling everyone …we fell out the car …and how exciting it was to get attention over it …so i sayed it a few times to the peole there ….got a few cuddles aswell ……..

what furniture we had was moved in ….i shared a room with holly

while daisy .. had the small front room to her self she came back home to live with us frommy auntys ..but i didnt feel the same bond with her as i did before she left ..and anyway she seemed difrent …..mum and les shared a room with the baby

the lounge room was cool it had a mantle peice and a small gas fire ..mum had put up those bloody awful dark green curtians she had in the old house ..a colour tv was in the corner and under the window was her small dark table she would spend many hours at sitting on the floor doing jigsaw puzzles ….

in our room my sisters bed was at the back wall it was a huge bedroom the biggest in the house and a lrge window that looked out to the big back yard we had …my bed was directly accross the other wall with my feet facing the doorway

the dark shadow

..i hated night times at the best of times i hated the dark ..but somethink hapend to the house at night ..it wasnt normal there was something that just wasnt right ..and i picked up on every bit of it ……the house was already dark and cold during the day ..but at night it became freezing …..and the air was musky ….mum would put us to bed turn the lights of and shut the door ………..this scared the hell out of me and i wouls scream to have the door opened each night ……and i wouls sleep peacfully for a while …then i would wake up when everyone in the house was asleep there in my door was a man a shadow ..i big huge black scary sillohutte of a man standing in my doorway watching me ..just standing there looking .as i froze in fear not able to scream i kept looking at this sha pe ….as it came closer to me .he was going to get me ..still frozen in fear ..i tryed my hardest to yell for my mum but nothing came out …as the shape got closer and closer to me ….my fear become so extreme to the point where i thought if i dont scream now ..im going to die …..i had to save myself ….i pulled my face from under my covers …..and let out a scream so scary it would wake the dead …mum would come running into the bedroom almost with fear on her face too as my screams were so terifying ……i told her there was a man in the door way .it didnt matter how much she tryed to comfort me and tell me there was nothing there ..i didnt belive a damn word she said ..i know what i saw and it was real ………everytime she went back to bed the evil man would apear again ……and again i would scream out with fear ….so many nights mum would have to sleep at the end of my bed just so everyone in the house could get sleep ……i remember HIM comming in a few times telling her to leave me and go back to bed with him …he was being a prick and jelous of me making mum sleep with him ……even thou he kept us up all night with him snoring that vibrated the walls and windows …….i rather thing my mum got a better sleep being with me than with HIM …….for weeks and weeks almonst months this continued …..it wasnt my fault there was a damn big scary man after me at night and i needed confort and protection from him …..i wasnt going to let him hurt me ..

THE GHOST STORY next chapter

.as i could alwasy be found either out in the back yard playing alone …up the street visitn my best friend or in my bedroom playing schools ..every now and then my bedroom door knob would rattle like someone was standing there behind the closed door about to open it .but no one ever came in i .cant remember how but …i eventualy came to met this young man( a spirit ) who would come to visit me when i was alone .. he was tall blonde and about 21 years old..he would rattle my door knob and wait for me to say he could come in ..we then had eye contact and would say hello to each other with a smile ..somedays i would be so excited he was here becuse i had so much to tell him .he would sit on my bed and we would talk for hours.. his voice was very gentle and his eyes were caring he listend quietly to everything i had to say …sometimes after i spoke i looked away just for a sec ond and he would be gone ….we never spoke about him not did i ask him ….there was a conection we had were i could see into his thinking and was no need to ask him questions

..i knew he wasnt just in my mind either ..becuase i could smell him and at times touch him but he didnt touch me i would hug him ….he would disapear for weeks on end at times but then stay with me for months ..alwasy at my side ..folowing me to the places i didnt feel safe goin to in that house ..like the toilet ….but he alwasy waited at the kitchen door for me ..stood guard …he was the first man in my life that got close enough to me …..he showed me uncondtional love ..even when i told him how bad i was he still would be forgiving ..he was amazing ly polite to never swore even thou that was alll i spoke ..his voice was calm even toned and it calmed me down made me feel safe in my own home …he stayed with me until i left home aged 16 i was able to call for him when ever i needed his visits did become less and less but he nver went away ..i sat him down on my bed actualy he walked in and i remmebr patting my bed and saying we needed to talk ……then i had to tell him i was leaving for good and he couldnt come with me ….we both cryed and hugged and then he left me .even when i came to visit my mum at home later ..he was never there again …….

he was not the only spirit living in the house either …my little sister use to see a small boy crying and sitting in the corner of our bedroom ..on my side of the room ofcousre ……typical …but i never saw him ….my mum and her botfriend would acationaly see an old couple walking donw the long dark hallway we had ……..while i never saw them i did encounter there anger one day ..there were not such a nice old couple not even to my mum or HIM ………

life went on as normal after a few months we were in school again my man in the door way eventualy left so i was able to sleep better .that is except for les who snorzes so bad everynight mum must of gotten sick of it too with the new baby and all to so he was kicked out and slept on the couch in the loungroom now .he was a tall giant too ..he would put his arm out and we would hold on tight as he lifted us up the cieling ..it was so much fun yet scary too …he would put us on his shoulders and wow we could touch the celing his was a very tall man indeed

DAD

Dad had many girlfriends after mum and would sometimes come pick up all of us 3 girls and take us to visit them …there was one lady i remmebr becasue she lived near a big wherhouse …her house was small but she had a great garden out the back she seemed young and had 2 young daughters of her own cute both with long blonde hair that was gorgoeusly well brushed and looked after .

…dad would alwsy go on about how mum wasnt looking after us how we looked grubby n dirty nit infested too ..so often our hair was done in the bath with kerosene ..my sisters n me would all sleep inone room together while her kids slept in another room ……i remmebr one sleep over night ..me and my two sisters were all snugged up in our beds ..ahh the feel of clean sheets again was amazing …and so warm as well…

but this night my dad came into our room and told my big sister to get out of bed and come with him .she didnt wont to at first but dad insisted she come with him and now …..i lied there thinking to myself …..why did he take her ..why is she allowed to stay up later than me its not fuckin fair ….why cant i stay up late ..why does it alwasy have to be her when we visit dad ..maybe she was his favourite or something ….i hated her for that ….one night my curoiusity got the better of me and i got up out of bed ..in my pj;s slowing walking out of my room looking to sneek a peek at them hving some kind of fun that i had to miss out on…….but i couldnt see anyone ..the kitchen light was on ..the tv was going in the daken lounge room..my dads bedroom door just slightly ajar…so i slowly walked tip toed to the door to se what was going on ……..ever so quietly so as not to be seeen i peeked my head in i could only get my head in enought to se the top half of the bed …….and i saw my siter liy ing on the bed and my dad was ontop of her …….what the hell was he doing to her …i didnt understand it at all ..but it felt realy strange i remmebr i froze just for a second ..and my dad saw me …he yelled at me looked at me realy angry with strnge eyes i have not seen before and he tolded me to get out and go back to bed …my sister was liing ther with no top on but she wasnt crying so i thought ok things must be ok then ..i didnt know what they were doing …..i knew i didnt wont to do what ever it was ….

….about half hour later dad brought my sister back to bed sobbing ….she curled up faced the wall and cryed herself to sleep … we never spoke about it ……while i didnt understand what had just gone on and i ws about 7 yers old at this time was i nieve or to dumb to relaise …i just thout is was something she was ok with but i hope dad dosent come and ask me

THE BEACH

As we lived just a 10 minute drive away from the beach …mum and her new boyfriend packed us 3 in the back of the car and would go for a drive on gorgoues hot nights …for some reason we were never takin during the day with them ..it was always at dusk ….

.HE would run straight into the water this giant of a man ..splashing diving and pretending to be a shark ..he was so funny making us laugh so loud …we screamed at the top of our llungs like kids do ………..he would try and swim inbetween our legs all the time being a shark ..it was funny …….he would get his head between our legs then …up with a wooosh we would fly and splash back down into the water . sometimes he just simply disapear .under the water ..all would go silent we stoped splashing me and my sisters would all freeeze.the water went calm shitting ourselves where is he goin to come up and who is he going to touch under the water before he rises up again …..some times he got both me and my sister at the same time his hand would rub his hand up out little legs as he come to the surface of the water .

..after a while to me it felt alittle bit creeper ..i didnt like too much attention so i would swim just abit away form everyone trying to keep some distance and trying to stay away form him ……..

.was it just me i never realy liked physical attention unless i went and got it myself ……yeh ..thats all it was just me being silly ..his touches and his attention was all normal things that everyone else does …im just not use to that sensation ………it was both fun yet a bit scary tooo .

mum would wave to us from up high on the sand ..i think she sometimes got her feet wet when we first got there. then we were off in the water taking no notice of her after that ..we were off having fun in the water …..to carefree to worry about her ….she did her thing we did ours ………….it alwasy got dark to fast there and it was time to go home …i guess we would of been ther only for an hour ..but these adventures didnt last long ..and it became longer and longer before we went again .even years somtimes and by this stage yes we moved house but we were still only ever a 15 minute drive away form the beach …but that was what we did i guess …

i do have memories of the beach during the day ..my aunty or even both auntys would ring up mum ask if we wonted to be picked up and taken to the beach with all there kids .it was like a whole new experience…wow this was day time beach ..and it was so diffrent to night beaching ….so many people the waves semed diffrent too …..everyone was happy and smiling …….my auntys even put some yukky sticky cream all over us …sunscreeen it was called ……..they told me it stopped me from burning ..hell i didnt know ..it wasnt like my mum used this stuff on us ……diggin in the sand with little buckets n spades was so much fun … piling the sand up as high as it would go with out colapsing ..patting it down realy hard with my small hands ……running with my bucket to grab more sand for over there ..to bring to here ……you dug a circle around your mountian of sand ……then the most exciting part ..was digging your whole that went from on side of your massive mound all the way to the other side ….with out it colapsing on you …. that was the challenge …….we spend hpurs upon hours at the beach with my auntys n cousins …it felt like we lived there ..there was no time limit on our visits ….

oh and how scary is this ….. ona few times we were at the beach the shark sirens went off my aunty always brought a small radio down with her listening to the football on the beach ..

i dont ever remmebr seing my mum there with her sisters and us down at the beach ..i dont know why .my mum alwasy stayed home alot ..not taking us to places unless it was her family ..she didnt take us to the park ..or the beach .or the zoo .it was always someone else in the family that picked us up for some great amamzing adventures .i sometimes missed her not being there …..would look around hoping she would just apear there ..but that wasnt ment to happen and never ever did ………..instead she stayed at home liing on her bed reading her mills n boons books all day long …living in her own fantasy world i guess …..